This morning was something. I awoke at 6 to find Hortance on my porch looking half dead. She has been sick since Monday with pain in her eyes, stomach and now back. She gets sick a lot; she’s repeating this year in school because she was also sick last year. She’s frustrated, I’m frustrated. What can she do? What are her options? With no family but a few uncles who are small farmers who live in the bush, she’s got nothing. She’s been staying home from school and considered dropping out because she’s missed so much but Aposto encouraged her to continue. So, once again I gave her some money to go to the hospital and get a real test of what’s going on with her.
I scarfed down some peanut butter and jelly oatmeal and then headed off to meet up with Terry, an ASC (volunteer community health agent) and my electrician here in LT. It was not quite 8 a.m. yet the sun was strong already and I wasn’t too excited to go walking around the village. However, I was trying to trust God had something in store for me, and boy did He ever.
The first two home visits went well. We were in the Christian part of town so many families were in the process of making tchouk (homemade sorghum beer) for Saturday’s market. The first house Terry demonstrated how much bleach you need to add to a large pot of water in order to purify it. Especially important right now as the wells are drying up and the water is turning even dirtier. He spoke in local language and asked how many mosquito nets they family had and if they actually sleep under them. With it getting even warmer, people don’t like to sleep under the nets and so we explained (or rather I reminded Terry in French, who in turn said it in Kaybe) that they should shower right before bed in order to cool off. People don’t believe malaria can kill you; so many people get it so often that they are sick a few days (normally) take the medicine and move on. Similar to a cold for us in the States, except Malaria can kill you. Togo has a unique strain of mosquito that carries the deadly version and many people are unaware of this and thus don’t see the importance of sleeping under their net (which a NGO has recently distributed for free).
The third home we were greeted under a thatched hut by a man who spoke French and a few woman. We sat down and it appeared to be a normal visit. We asked about the health of his family and he calmly pointed and said he had a sick daughter. I didn’t pay attention very well because it wasn’t for a few more moments until I caught sight of the extremely nobby knee of a small child sitting on the ground, half hidden behind her mother who was crushing leaves to be used as medicine. Her legs were so thin I didn’t believe they could be legs. We continued the visit but I couldn’t stop watching the child who was nibbling at some fried dough. The little girl who we found out later is supposedly three, cried when her mother picked her up to place her in a basin filled with warm medicinal water. Oh. My. Goodness. I nearly vomited. I’ve never in my life seen a body like that. You could see literally every bone in the little girl’s body. She had no hair and the skin was stretched over her ribs and covered in little pimple like dots. The skin on her legs and arms hung loose. She was crying as her mother gently washed her and then I couldn’t hold back. I pulled my sunglasses back down over my eyes and resisted the urge to grab Terry’s shoulder and cry all over it. Terry obviously was aware with what was going on but he continued with the bleach and mosquito net questions. I couldn’t let it go though. I asked if they had been to the hospital. I knew LT’s hospital is unique in that it has the products for malnourished kids. The man replied that the hospital wanted to charge them for it. I stood up and made a phone call to the new doctor at the hospital who apparently didn’t save my number and unfortunately couldn’t understand my French. I agreed to come visit later.
We continued on to the next house and the last house ended up being one of the major tchouk stands in that area. I remembered if from one of my first weeks here in LT when Aposto had showed me around. After the health talk was done with the guy who lived there, Terry said, ‘and now we drink.’ Alrighty then. So, over a calabash of tchouk at 10 am, Terry and I discussed the severity of the little girl’s situation and I insisted we go to the hospital to discuss right away. The hospital is on the north end of LT so we walked another 15 minutes in the blazing sun where Terry explained the situation and the doctor insisted that he bring the child back this afternoon. My American pushy-ness came through (with a little courage from the tchouk) as I told him the best I knew how that I was quite upset with this situation.
On our walk back to the family’s house we ran into Terry’s boss and my co-worker, Felicite. Felicite is a gem; she’s intelligent and passionate. I explained the situation to her (felt bad for Terry- like I was tattling on him to his boss or something – but darn it, this child’s life was in danger) and she decided to come with us. This time it was just the mother and the little girl there and we asked how long she had been in LT and if the girl had had her vaccinations. She also has a son who is eight and goes to school and who is apparently healthy. The mother agreed to go with Terry this afternoon to the hospital. I wish I could go but I have my girls club that I must be at. I will call Terry tonight to see what they decide this afternoon but he said at one point he would come back and help me show them how to make the enriched porridge if it came to that. Makes me think a lot because I realize I’ve gotten used to little half-naked children running around with their bellies protruding. You get used to seeing them with snotty noses and dirty but this was a whole different story and yes, I’m okay with being an overzealous, obnoxious American in this situation, insisting that something be done for this child who can barely keep its eyes open, who can’t be touched or move without crying.
Oy oy oy. I then went straight to the photo copier stand (yes, they exist in LT) and made copies of the paper I have on how to make enriched porridge using beans, peanuts and flour. A lot of times if babies won’t drink their mother’s milk they will try giving them porridge with little to no nutritional value. Hopefully each ASC can keep a copy with them for their home visits in the future.
I want to acknowledge my lack of writing in the past weeks. I’ve been having a hard time and haven’t wanted to write when I was having doubts and frustrations with this experience. I’ve written blog entries in that time as a way to vent and reflect but have been resistant to post and bear my true soul to you all. However, after much thought, I believe in being honest. This experience is not rosey or nice. It’s not easy, clean or fun. So, below are thoughts that I put together over the past weeks. Some of it isn’t pretty but it’s real and truthful and I believe you can take what you want from it. Bottom line: I’m here, I’m struggling but I’m pushing on with God’s strength, peace and blessings.
Truth: February 19, 2012
I just spent the hour au champ – or at the farm. It was the most rewarding hour I’ve had in a few weeks. I was on my way to go spend an hour pounding the pavement and rounding out my day with a run when I stopped to speak with my French tutor, Mr. Sinya. A girl at the school led me just past the classrooms where about 15 boys were barefoot and working on digging up giant piles to be planted with yams. Randomly (or so it seems to me) the teachers will decide the afternoon will be spent cleaning up the schoolyard (pulling weeds, sweeping the dirt, picking up trash) or working in the teacher’s farms. When I arrived the boys immediately started teasing that I couldn’t dig or do the work. Of course that didn’t sit well with me and I began to untie my shoe laces peel off my socks; I wasn’t about to let Togolese boys who 1 don’t think girls can work in the fields and 2 who sometimes think white people don’t do physical labor win this argument. Sinya looked at my bewildered but he handed me a hoe as I took of my rings, put my socks in my shoes and placed my shiny new Muzuno’s atop a yam pile. “Where do I start,” I said. Still amazed but encouraging he led me to a row that had yet to be dug. The boys were finishing up for the day but I said since I was intending to run for an hour, I would spend the hour digging instead. “I have muscles too,” I added as the boys roared with laughter and snickered in local language. After I proved myself on the first pile the slowly went back to work and I insisted they speak French so at least I could try to understand their jokes. Myself and another boy who I recognized from church helped round out my piles as I dug. Together, we created 12 new piles (only ONE yam will come from each pile!) and I’ve got the blisters and scraped up feet to prove it.
How did this simple hour of digging and getting dirty, sweaty and bug bitten make me so happy? I’ve been struggling… a lot lately. The days are long and the afternoons are hot and seem to drag on and on. I absolutely dread the afternoon –which also happens to be the hottest part of the day. Every day, no matter how hard I try I still end up having a couple rough hours that sometimes end in tears. I like Togo in the mornings and after 4 pm when the sun has retreated and you can function again; it’s just those darn hours from about 1-4 that I can’t stand this place. So, when I not only got to prove myself and put in some sweat equity with my Togolese students and neighbors this afternoon, I also had the chance to escape my own afternoon thoughts and be productive in a whole new way. A way that’s sometimes difficult as a PCV. We have lots of discussions and we share information that could be life changing if adapted, but we often don’t see the results in our time here. After an hour this afternoon, I was able to stand back and look at the work I had helped in Sinya’s farm… the farm that he will eat from after the next harvest, the farm, the yams he relies on to feed himself and his handful of nieces and nephews living with him. It was awesome, exhilarating, empowering. It was just what I needed today.
Work has picked up and I am quite busy, yet the days seem to be long. I’m trying to keep my head up and some days are still the attitude of just getting through.
It’s been a while since I’ve written… well only two weeks, but it feels like longer. That’s been my issue lately: time passing so slowly. I believe in being honest in my account of this experience and my attitude towards Togo hasn’t been that great, hence why I’ve put off blogging. I wanted to refrain from laying how I truly feel out there hoping it was just a readjustment back to this life. And that it has been. I’ve struggled a lot in this experience. From keeping track of the days I cried in training, then to the number of days I cried in the first three months, and now I’m back at it. Again, it is just getting back into things, don’t get me wrong. But I also don’t want to portray that everything is fine and dandy. One of my biggest annoyances is when people pretend everything is okay, putting on a front. I believe in being real. While I know that’s not always pretty or polite, I’m still prefer the truth to a sugar coated version.
Anyway, I wanted to get that out there because I am still struggling. Yes, work has picked up and I’m grateful for that. I have promising projects on the horizon that I will detail later but still, the days are long, hot and lonely. It’s the loneliness that gets me the most I think. When Vanessa visits or when I’m at Rebekah’s in Sokode I usually feel pretty good. It’s just still strange to me to be entirely in your own world- by yourself with only your thoughts- for days on end. I miss people, companionship. Maybe that’s what I’m suppose to learn from all this; how important and truly irreplaceable relationships are. Yes, I have friends here in LT. Yes, I can go hang out at Aposto’s or my French tutor’s house and feel very welcomed. But it’s not the same. The language barrier does not allow for me to be completely me. Many PCV’s talk about this—how they can’t really be themselves because of this, it’s truly one of the bigger challenges. It’s funny how I signed up for this adventure to experience something other than the ‘9-5’ and the same-old-same-old. Funny how that’s what I’d really like right now. I wonder if I’ll ever be able to see my grass in the same shade as the other side?
In saying that I also know this has strengthened my walk with God; seeking His presence and peace and will for my time here. I realized sitting in church this morning that when I’m around others, I don’t seek Him as much… maybe that’s why I’m here, to develop that habit regardless of the circumstances or situation.
February 6-19 highlights:
· Trip to Kara for the national training of trainers for the upcoming Women’s Conference.
o Along with the other female PCV volunteers in my region (Central) we put together a three day conference that will include sessions on health and nutrition, basic budgeting and financial planning, self confidence and womens rights and more. I’ll be co leading four sessions along with the morning yoga and aerobics workouts! Aerobics in French—this is going to be something!
o Also got spend an afternoon at the pool at Hotel Kara. Of course it was the only overcast and cloudy day of the week but I loved every second of it nonetheless. Veronica and Kate and I also enjoyed some delicious eats with pizza one night and a burger the next.
· -‘Spring’ cleaning with Hortance. I haven’t gone through my kitchen things (lots that I don’t use from Lorena) in a long time. Add to that the three months of dust blowing and you’ve got yourself a mess. Felt good to go through everything, give Hortance things I never touch (she was delighted) and give everything a good clean.
· - Rain. It rained last night- thundered, lightening and POURING for over two hours. First rain we’ve had since November and boy was it nice! Has been quite hot lately so it was a very very pleasant reprieve. However, a big rain usually comes before the seasons change..and we all know what’s next.. hot season. March, April and May are gonna be nasty.
· -Girls club. Very excited about this. After meetings with Aposto, Sinya (my French tutor and English teacher at the middle school) and a female teacher and village friend who is going to help me with the club, I got the okay from the ‘principal’ and then went to six classrooms (equivalent of 5-7th grades) telling them about the club that will meet once a week after school and will be to encourage the girls to stay in school, build their self confidence, and learn how to set and realize their goals. I had over 115 girls apply (asked them to answer 4 questions about why they were interested) and I chose 60 that I thought had potential. This was challenging though as I was reading through the stack, realizing the girls who don’t ‘get it’ are exactly the ones who need the club –but who I wasn’t choosing. Ugh.
Anyway, nearly all 60 girls showed up on Thursday afternoon and we did introductions and further explanation of the clubs purpose. With so many of them I’m afraid I’ll never remember all their names, but in an attempt I had them make name cards (crayons and makers are unheard of – as is drawing in general) and then asked them to tell me their names on the way out afterwards. Couldn’t believe how many wouldn’t look at me when they spoke. Self-confidence will be an important session for sure. So thankful for Mr. Sinya’s support and encouragement of this project.
· --English club. This club is taking off. We are really starting to get the feel for each other, and since they’ve elected officers, they are running the club more on their own! About 20 or so middle schooler’s come every Wednesday afternoon and we just started reading the books that the kids from Iowa donated. We will soon be writing letters to the kids at YESS in Des Moines as a form of correspondence encouraged by Peace Corps. This week we used the candy Valentines hearts to open our discussion on “America” –I had quite the time trying to explain phrases like “cutie pie” and “head over heels.” Finally, knowing I had zero plans on Saturday, I invited some of the kids (who walk me home after club and fetch my water from the well that is a bit from my house) to come watch a movie. Unfortunately, I don’t have any movies with subtitles, but I translated a bit and they enjoyed Toy Story 3 nonetheless.
· -Plans to go out w/ ASC’s. ASC’s are the local community people who serve as health agents to the rest of the village. They are trained to talk about malaria, tuberculosis, hygiene/sanitation and HIV/AIDS. They make home visits to encourage people to take preventative action in these areas and they organize larger events (gatherings after church for example) as well. The NGO here in LT, the one that Aposto is the local director for is in charge of overseeing and training the ASC’s (which total about 100). I’ve finally made contact – realizing who these people are, and have made plans to make home/church visits with one ASC who also happens to be my electrician! This is something I’ve been wanting to do for a while so I’m looking forward to it.
· -Family planning training. Aposto and I learned about the 4 most common and modern methods of family planning at our training in January. To turn words into action, we invited Ryan (health PCV in Sokode) to come and train the NGO who can in turn train the ASC’s to include in their messages to the villagers. Again something I really feel strongly about and am looking forward to in March.
· -Camp Espoir is the camp that PCV’s run and organize every summer for kids infected or affected by HIV/AIDS. Each summer 150 Togolese children and 25 PCV’s put on 5 separate weeks of camp that is almost totally funded through donations. I am one of the co-organizers and we will soon be reaching out to our friends and family to help us make camp possible this summer.
· - Hanging out with the SED girls in Sokode and Ryan’s Valentines Party. All but two girls from my SED training group came up to Sokode last weekend and we had a great time just hanging at Rebekah’s and having ‘girl time.’ It was perfect. Reading through silly magazines, talking about celebrities, boys, life… loved it. The party wasn’t bad either.. Ryan made homemade cookies!
· - Repairing my bike. My back tire has gone flat three times now and finally I got a replacement tube from the PC office in Lome. I impressed myself and replaced the tube quite quickly this week. That bike is my lifeline, what more motivation do you need?
So, as you can see I’ve got stuff going on and I do feel better having things in place and not having to seek out and create things as much anymore. It allows me to rest easier (not feel bad about reading for hours on end) and not feel like I should be out saving LT. I’ve also got a lot of events to look forward to and that’s what’s keeping me going. As we head into hot season (think winter time in Iowa when you can’t leave your house due to dangerous temperatures, ice and snow ) I’m preparing to just lay and be still for several hours a day so as to not completely melt away. They say from about 10 am- 4pm you won’t want to move except to pour more water over you. We will see.
No comments:
Post a Comment